Finally, some time to catch my breath.
I was originally hoping to blog about my trip to Chicago for Step 2 CS right after I came back. Obviously that didn't happen. However, I can list some highlights:
- Driving through clouds of white cottonwood fluff on the highway with green trees on either side of the road was surprisingly serene.
- Arrived in Chicago on Sunday night, 6/5, and had dinner at Giordano's with Ari (fraternity brother from Stanford) and Dave (my cousin). Chicago stuffed pizza with ground beef and mushroom paired well with frosted mugs of Stella.
- Later that same night, Ari and I went out to sing Live Band Karaoke with some of his friends.
- Breakfast of yogurt/fruit parfait and coffee at Starbucks with a last minute review. Lunch from Chipotle.
- Eight-hour long test. Had to remember the following keys to passing the test:
- Speak English.
- Wear professional clothes.
- Wash your hands before the physical exam.
- Drape the patient.
- Don't punch the patient in the face.
- Breakfast at Orange Restaurant with Ari, Claudia, and Tina (more friends from Stanford), had a nice driving tour of the Chicago neighborhoods with Ari, lunch with Dave at Lao Sze Chuan in Chicago's Chinatown (pork kidney, Mongolian lamb, garlic spinach, minced beef = yum!)
- Driving back through clouds of cottonwood again.
[Singing Ozzy's "Crazy Train" to a live band: easily the best part of taking Step 2 CS]
Ever since getting back from Step 2 CS, though, it has been an almost non-stop marathon of studying for Step 2 CK (the computer-based, multiple choice test portion of Step 2). My days have fallen into an unexpectedly consistent routine: waking up around 7 AM, studying all day with breaks for meals, and getting to sleep around 11 PM. When I look at all of these hoops that we med students have to jump through, it's tempting to ask sometimes, "What's the point?" I'm sure this question will be even more prominent when I'm a resident, working long hours in the hospital. Sure, there's the goal of becoming a doctor, of helping patients, of having a long/successful/fulfilling career/life. But I had a eye-opening experience recently that I think answered this question on a deeper level.
Between taking Step 2 CS and starting to study for Step 2 CK, I had a weekend when I flew back to California for the wedding of Kalena Masching and Sam Howles-Banerji. I had known Sam for four years at Stanford through the Stanford Band (he was the Tööbz sexion leader when I was the Bonz sexion leader; and no, those aren't typos, that's how we spell in the Stanford Band). I had known Kalena even longer, since middle school in fact, where we both played trombone. They are both very good friends, but the reason the wedding was especially meaningful for me was this story: although Kalena didn't go to Stanford, she stayed in Palo Alto after high school, and since I knew she played trombone I invited her to join the Stanford Band my freshman year, which was where she eventually met her now-husband. That unremarkable, casual invitation was an act of friendship that had incredibly life-changing implications (something that Kalena's parents very explicitly reminded me and thanked me for while I was at the wedding).
Going back to all the med school hoops, my point is this: oftentimes, despite our best efforts to extrapolate meaning, the most meaningful points seem to be the ones we never anticipated, stemming from actions to which we would never have given a second thought. If something as simple as asking a friend to join the Stanford Band could affect both her and her husband's lives so deeply, imagine how much we can help future patients if we put our minds to it. Yes, it can be difficult at times to see purpose in what we do, but we all have a part to play in this life, even if we don't know what it is. And those preciously rare moments when we are blessed with the opportunity to see what part we did play...though they be few and far between, those can be the moments that help push us onward in times of doubt, in times of struggle, in times of seemingly useless endeavor. Keep those moments close and use them to carry on.
[Congratulations, Sam and Kalena!]